June 7 — Money Woes Not the End to Dating
The economy has affected many things, including dating and relationships.
There are good people, talented people with marketable skills unemployed and underemployed. We all know dating and relationships take money so with the economy affecting so many it is a fact that going out on a date or with your spouse has got a whole lot more challenging.
Creativity, sensitivity and attraction are now much more important components in people’s happiness.
Creativity is a must. Finding unique, low-cost and yet interesting and fun activities to share with someone, things that show that person you care is the homework assignment. It’s not always easy especially in locales where there are less idea options but it can be done because the simple ideas, when done with style are almost always winners.
Sensitivity is understanding. If someone is unemployed or underemployed it’s often not because they are lesser human beings, undesirable in the work place, it’s because of financial variables outside of their control. Most of us could be in the same boat as them very easily so being empathetic, encouraging and helpful goes a long ways. Being judgmental and dismissing those affected by job loss or less work shines the light on those whom judge, revealing a lack of character.
Attraction is a revealing factor in this economy. If a man or woman is heavily enough drawn to their dating partner or spouse they will show a lot more leeway in their financial capabilities to date. If the attraction is moderate or minimal, then more judgment and rejection comes.
Right now, it’s all about attitude. Digging deep to be successful in having fun and building or maintaining romance is required. It’s a can-do-, will-do attitude. Many with lesser funds will still be successful finding dating partners and pleasing their spouses simply because they find ways to connect, showing their capacity to give even with money restraints.
Mailbox
Behavior, culture or relationship questions? Write me at MXwriter@live.com. Share whether you desire a private answer or if it can be used in this space to help others; whichever your preference.
May 27 — Bidding for attention in relationships
How do you go about signaling your need for attention in relationships and is your approach effective? We all need attention to feel valued and loved.
Check out this 5-minute test developed by Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington. It is worth your time and will give you insight worth having.
You might find it’s the approach you’re taking, whether overly timid or dominating that is creating the lack.
Vision in New Program
Young people have long been under-served in schools but that might be changing.
Catholic Charities are on the move in Wichita middle schools thanks to a $ 1 million grant, courtesy of the Robert Wood Johnson foundation. What the Start Strong program will do will be much needed, long overdue and still not enough — educating children, ages 11-14, about healthy relationships.
Parents can’t do it all when it comes to education children about two subjects — finances and relationships. With the critical importance of these life skills there is no time for conservative or liberal politics. Money woes plague society. Poor or criminal relationship skills greatly affect children, babies and society. Just check the courts and many homes for proof.
Catholic Charities program isn’t far reaching enough as it should also target children below 11-years old and older than 14.
Ideally such programs would be in schools quarterly.
Why?
When I help people with relationships I often share that behavioral consistency is what shows whom someone really is and is the great predictor of future behavior. To positively affect children, consistent mentoring on relationships, as well having a place children can turn for follow-up questions is imperative.
But Catholic Charities is doing something so they are part of the eventual solution.
Categories: relationships
Tagged: behavioral consistency, dating violence, expanding, pre-teens, Start Strong program, teens, Wichita
